Pausing and Pondering

I sat in shock for a bit of time this morning. I am still pausing and thinking. I know my blog is not usually full of deep thoughts but today I am pausing and pondering.

In April we had traveled to visit friends and during the Sunday fellowship I met someone. I had heard her name numerous times but actually met her that day. She greeted me during greeting time telling me that I had a cute daughter. She then told me about her sister who also has Down Syndrome. She told me her name and then we went through the list of people that we knew. She was there in that country helping homeschoolers and working with special needs kids.

This morning I talked to my friend that I had visited and mentioned this gal as a resource for homeschooling and special needs and my friend said, "oh, you didn't hear". She died. Old people die, sick people die not people in there 30's or so. It was about a month after our visit. She had pneumonia and went into respiratory distress.

This was someone that I met once. We talked briefly. In many ways I didn't know her and yet in a little way I knew her. She loved special needs kids, she loved helping people, and she loved Asia. Now she is home with Jesus.

I paused to think about how short life really is, it is a fading flower. So how am I going to spend my days. Do I want someone to remember that I got angry and yelled? Do I want my last words to be complaining?

I want to say "I love you more." I want to smile. I want to laugh. I want to give praise to God for all that he has given me. I want to love. My days may be long or short but Lord help me to fill them with your praise and for your glory.